Social Prison

I’m not a celebrity, obviously. I’m not even remotely famous. 

But I was listening to a comedian and he talked about the realist, deepest issue I’ve ever heard someone famous talk about. 

The Social Prison. 

This Prison exists in a world ran by positive feedback of mass audiences. Fans who have been gathered and gradually only gets bigger, to come together to see a person expose themselves so rawly. So roughly. 

In order to keep the mass happy. Give them what they like. What entertains the human mind. 

Bo Burnham is the comedian I am referring to. But his act in “Make Happy” was just so honest it made me stop laughing and really think about the entertainment industry. Honestly, the “life industry”. 

 As Bo performs his jokes you barely even notice how deep it gets. 

“They laugh as he attempts to give what he cannot give himself.”

-Bo Burnham

Happiness. To the mass. To his fans. 

The world is so caught up in playing the Jester and the king roles in life. And we as the consumers of these jokes just to get a laugh can’t even understand how easily manipulated we are. 

Life works the same way. 

Everywhere we go we are being watched. Everything we do is for the sake of impressing someone, or making someone happy. 

We dance and we sing and we jump when they say jump because well, that’s what society has taught us to do. Society says in order to get anywhere in life you need to be well liked. Popular. Entertaining. 

Why are we so big on gaining followers? And I’m guilty of this, I won’t lie. But why do we try so hard to be liked? Because we think we will finally be satisfied knowing that we’ve gotten to where we wanted to be? 

But here’s the truth.. Our society will never be satisfied! You’ll have to come up with song after song after song, and bit after bit after bit, and piece after piece after piece. 

I think we do it in the beginning because we want to make a difference. Change someone’s life. But as you get further into the rabbit hole, that vision becomes a bit blurry. 

It’s a social Prison.

Why am I ranting about this! 

Okay. Do I want people to read and like what I write? Of course I do. Will I stop writing if people don’t? No I will not. 

I do it because I know at least one person needs to hear what I have to say. Even I need to hear what I have to say, and that’s part of the reason why I write. 

You are not forced into the Social Prison. You don’t have to stay there. People freely walk into it! 

I wish I knew how to break that Social Prison. But honestly, I don’t think we will ever be able to. We run off of feedback as people. That just comes naturally. 

I guess the only thing I can really say on the matter is.. Don’t do what you do without reason. Do it for God. Do it for family. Do it for yourself. But don’t do anything without purpose. 

The Bible Told me So

For so long I walked in my faith and never asked any questions. Never wanted to. Never had to because it felt like trusting in the Bible was meant to be enough. But today I was challenged to do differently. And it opened my eyes a little bit more. 

Ask questions. Asks a lot of them. Dig deep and then let your faith be rooted and grounded in the facts that you know and not just have it resting on a book. I believe in the Bible 100%. But that doesn’t mean that I can prove all the events that took place. 

Now this isn’t to say, try and disprove or prove the Bible. This is saying expand your knowledge to even more beyond the Bible. To experience. To History. To fact. 

One of the main reasons that I had walked away from God not too long ago was because of people. People who didn’t know fact or experience or History. People that looked, spoke and acted upon what they saw and what they believed would make the Bible or having “faith” more attractive. 

They put beautiful people with beautiful bodies, and painted there faces with make up and dressed in the latest styles and made the statement that appearance is everything. Image is what we’re aiming for and you don’t fit it

One of the main reasons I ran back to God not too long ago, was also because of people. More specifically, a person. Myself and you the readers and people that I come in contact with everyday that are given the wrong idea or are giving the wrong idea every day about God.

I wasn’t equipped enough to realize that I ran away from a church that didn’t know how to be the people we are called to be. And so God called me back and said, “let me show you how it’s done. This is who you are. And who you are is not who I Am.” 

To show me how I can be what other people are claiming to be, He took me by my flaws, and showed me there’s. Then He showed me how to be a reflection of Him and not people. 

“Christianity does not exsist because of the Bible no more than you exist because of your birth certificate.” – Anonymous 

The Bible is Gods word and teaches us. But the Bible is a documentation of History. And we are called to interpret and have faith. It’s not meant to be a set of rules. Yet a message told to learn from mistakes and successes.  

My faith is not dictated on the Bible. I have faith because of what I know to be true. And because what I have experienced personally with God. And most of these things that I’ve experienced happened outside of church walls. God doesn’t belong in a box. And He doesn’t belong to any one person. 

Well the Bible says this.. the Bible says that.. yes, yes it does.. But the Bible is, like I said recorded History. And we are suppose to learn from it, but not without the knowledge or experience of Gods love beforehand. So you can build a firm foundation while you ask questions. 

So this is why I came back to Christ. Because I found God outside of a building. And I’ve experienced how is love is suppose to look, sound and move. And I plan on replicating that. 

What’s Brushed Under the Rug: Service Anouncement

About Anxiety

There are plenty of different forms of Anxiety. And most cases of Anxiety are caused by something. I don’t think you can just be born with it. 

There are five different types of Anxiety that doctors have pin pointed.

  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) I think of this as the generic brand. 
  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (believe it or not)
  • Panic Disorder
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Social Phobia (Social Anxiety)

The disorders that I have pinpointed in my own life are a few of these.. OCD, PTSD and Social Anxiety

I use to think it would be impossible for me to struggle with these things until it started taking affect in my life. So just to brush up on some education of the things in my life that I’ve allowed to be brushed under the rug. But I want to talk about it now. 

I am a victim of sexual assault. Like so many others. And I don’t talk about this subject lightly. For the longest time I suffered from reoccurring nightmares, paranoia, depression and many other things that came with Anxiety. I never talked about it before because I was told not to. I grew up confused about my sexuality and couldnt understand why I was so afraid to be with someone of the opposite sex. 

But throughout my life as I got older and even now.. I still struggle with these things. 

Oh, I’m sorry.. was I suppose to say that I don’t have these issues anymore? No I do. But the difference is, is I’ve learned how to not tolerate my Anxiety, but to do the opposite of what it tells me.

Now sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose. It’s not glamorous. It’s not easy. Every day I think about what happened. And every day I think about the relationship opportunities I’ve turned away because of them. 

Now I’m not an expert. But here’s something I’ve figured out. Time may heal some wounds.. But time can’t heal all wounds. There are some things that have a lasting effect on people. And it’s not easy to explain to others. I mean, it’s not like I can go on every first date I go on saying ‘hey! By the way I have Anxiety and I may try to push you away!’ 

But something that I have found, made me hopeful.. That although I’ve gone through some poorly ended dates. Or poorly started. I’ve learned exactly the type of man that is not strong enough to hold me up. And I’ve also  learned the type of man who is

All I’m saying is, darkness comes in different shapes and different colors. But light has always been recognizable from the very start. So if even though I don’t look like I struggle. I do. But the key is light has a way of showing me today when darkness only wants to show me yesterday.