There are plenty of different forms of Anxiety. And most cases of Anxiety are caused by something. I don’t think you can just be born with it.
There are five different types of Anxiety that doctors have pin pointed.
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) I think of this as the generic brand.
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (believe it or not)
- Panic Disorder
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
- Social Phobia (Social Anxiety)
The disorders that I have pinpointed in my own life are a few of these.. OCD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.
I use to think it would be impossible for me to struggle with these things until it started taking affect in my life. So just to brush up on some education of the things in my life that I’ve allowed to be brushed under the rug. But I want to talk about it now.
I am a victim of sexual assault. Like so many others. And I don’t talk about this subject lightly. For the longest time I suffered from reoccurring nightmares, paranoia, depression and many other things that came with Anxiety. I never talked about it before because I was told not to. I grew up confused about my sexuality and couldnt understand why I was so afraid to be with someone of the opposite sex.
But throughout my life as I got older and even now.. I still struggle with these things.
Oh, I’m sorry.. was I suppose to say that I don’t have these issues anymore? No I do. But the difference is, is I’ve learned how to not tolerate my Anxiety, but to do the opposite of what it tells me.
Now sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose. It’s not glamorous. It’s not easy. Every day I think about what happened. And every day I think about the relationship opportunities I’ve turned away because of them.
Now I’m not an expert. But here’s something I’ve figured out. Time may heal some wounds.. But time can’t heal all wounds. There are some things that have a lasting effect on people. And it’s not easy to explain to others. I mean, it’s not like I can go on every first date I go on saying ‘hey! By the way I have Anxiety and I may try to push you away!’
But something that I have found, made me hopeful.. That although I’ve gone through some poorly ended dates. Or poorly started. I’ve learned exactly the type of man that is not strong enough to hold me up. And I’ve also learned the type of man who is.
All I’m saying is, darkness comes in different shapes and different colors. But light has always been recognizable from the very start. So if even though I don’t look like I struggle. I do. But the key is light has a way of showing me today when darkness only wants to show me yesterday.