I’ve been reading a new book called ‘Daring Greatly’ by Brene Brown. And as the title would have it, it is a great book.
In this book Brene expresses, in depth, explanations of the emotions we feel but either don’t realize the captivity we are in because of them or that we chose to ignore them hoping they would go away.
So far what I’ve read the first few chapters talk about Vulnerability and Shame. There are so many things, so many lessons in this book that I’ve highlighted so far in hopes of sharing and repeating to help someone else. But only a few that I want to share today.
We tie our self worth to our accomplishments, but only our successful ones. Usually we think of accomplishments as always being successful. And it is. That is the definition of accomplishment; something that has been achieved successfully. But the real word we need to define, is in this definition. Success.
Success is; The accomplishment of an aim or purpose. If your aim or purpose is to obtain the most popularity. To be the most liekable. The most entertaining. The most capturing and awe stricken, in your work, in your passion.. Then you are aiming at the wrong target. And the success you think is success, isn’t success at all.
When your goals feel like they are only met so long as people agree with you. Like you. Admire you. Then you are placing your self worth on the table. You end up sacrificing your self motivation, and leaving it up to the hope that people will like ‘it’. Whatever ‘it’ is.
But so long as you do what you do, not worrying about what people will think of you, then you will be successful. Because then, your aim or your purpose becomes about something else. Making a difference. Doing what you are called to do vs being who someone thinks you should be.
Some people won’t like your work. They won’t all agree with what you do. But Brene Brown says it like this.
“Yes, it will be disappointing and difficult if your friends or colleagues don’t share your enthusiasm, or if things don’t go well. But this effort is about what you do, not who you are.” – Brene Brown
Now she also talks about something called, ‘shame resilience’. So instead of feeling like we’ve failed because someone didn’t listen, or no one wanted to hear. There comes a process of ‘overcoming the overwhelming’. The emotions that try to knock you down in hopes that you will stay down. Resilience means the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. In other words, refusing to stay down. Refusing to listen to the voices that say ‘no one needs what you are offering!’ And Mrs. Brene offers another qoute..
“Shame Resilience is the ability to say, ‘This hurts. This is disappointing, maybe even devastating. But success and recognition and approval are not the values that drive me. My value is courage. And I was just courageous.'” -Brene Brown
If you haven’t read this book. And you struggle with being honest and brave. Then think about picking it up and give it a read. Dare to hope. But also ‘Dare to be Great’.